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Monday, June 12, 2006

Dunkin' Donuts: Grand Forks, Update 1

Well, THIS is just about the best news ever. But check out the list of prospective cities for the expansion: "Cincinnati; Nashville; Jacksonville, Fla.; and Indianapolis." Excuse me, Mr. and Ms. Dunkin' Donuts executives -- but aren't we forgetting something? A certain metro area called GRAND FORKS, perhaps?

Memo to Sen. Dorgan: Once you've finished slapping around those Northwest Airlines executives and wrangling Airbus 380 service from Grand Forks to Paris and Berlin, how's about jetting up to Canton, Mass., for a little confab with Dunkin' Donuts' coffee-grinders-in-chief? Tell 'em that the great state of North Dakota awaits, and that in Grand Forks, they'll find 50,000 customers avidly awaiting the first ... well ... OK, 40,000 customers, who hate being deprived of their ... um ... Scratch that. Five thousand customers, each of whom promises to drink quarts of the hot ... Hmm. Five hundred customers? Fifty?

Senator, in Canton, you can tell the good folks at DD that one customer in Grand Forks eagerly awaits their arrival -- and that while one customer does not usually make for an attractive market, this one is EXTREMELY LOYAL and could just about support the whole franchise by himself.

Now, gentle reader, I know that you're asking, "Tom, what is it with this goofy Dunkin' Donuts kick? When we click on your blog, we expect the latest news on zoning ordinances and municipal bond issues. We don't want to read about your weird psycho-sicko bakery preferences! So get with the program, you big oaf!"

But that's where you're wrong, you see. Because my affection for Dunkin's Donuts has nothing to do with its "bakery", meaning its donuts. I don't care about their donuts. I never order donuts, and neither do any other DD fans I know.

It's the coffee.

The coffee is just unbelievably good. You've heard the way people describe different varieties of whiskey? You know, "deep blonde in color and remarkably smooth on the palate, and with lots of spices in its flavors (including cinnamon, allspice and black pepper), all overlaid by a hint of butterscotch and a light nutty flavor," and so on ... Well, that's that's the kind of language that fits Dunkin Donuts coffee. Except for the black pepper part.

Here's the bottom line. A medium DD coffee with sugar and cream is the next best thing to a coffee milkshake, except with, say, 50 calories as opposed to 500. Plus, it's cheap at around $1.50 a shot. What more could a guy ask?

Look, maybe this will explain. I mentioned that I'm from Rhode Island, and in Rhode Island (according to this story), there is one Dunkin Donuts franchise for ever 6,000 people. It's a "fortress market" for the brand -- and how! That's like having eight Dunkin Donuts outlets in Grand Forks alone!

Hmm ... eight? Yeah, sounds about right. Senator, your aircraft is on the tarmac, gassed up and ready to go!

32 Comments:

Blogger GrandForksGuy said...

Although I've never been to a DD, I would love to have one here in Grand Forks. Are there any in Minnesota? I think there would have to be a few in the general region before we get one.

I've wondered in the past if we might someday get a Tim Horton's. Its a big Canadian chain similar to DD. Wendy's owns it and they are trying to expand into the U.S. Maybe Leo Ledohowski can put in a good word for us? After all, I do remember him saying something about trying to bring more Canadian businesses to the Grand Forks area.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Semireg said...

Growing up in the 90s, I remember breakfast with the Grandparents at the DD in Columbia Heights, north of Minneapolis, MN.

5:24 PM  
Blogger JGS said...

Tom, why don't you bug DD to come to Grand Forks? I would love to try one!

7:43 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

What about a Tim Horton's??? GREAT coffee!

7:58 PM  
Blogger Tu-Uyen said...

Criminy, you corporate-juggernaut loving freaks. What's wrong with the Urban?

9:03 PM  
Blogger Jeni.Ann said...

Actually, Tom, there used to be a Dunkin' Donuts here in town. It was located on S. Washington Street where the former Berry Best and current Starbucks is located.

Yes, it would be nice to have them back, but I don't know that they would come back to a community that already is overwhelmed with coffee and bakery shops.

2:09 AM  
Blogger GrandForksGuy said...

We can never have too many coffee shops. Actually, I saw once that GF has more coffee shops per capita than Fargo, Bismarck, or Minot. Lucky us! I'm crossing my fingers for more Starbucks and Caribou Coffee locations in some of the new strip malls we're getting. We're gonna have to work hard to keep our "king of coffee shops" status...the F-M area is getting several new Starbucks in the next year or so and they now have three Caribous.

I would like to see a Starbucks set up shop downtown...how about 322 DeMers (old First National building)?

4:12 PM  
Blogger Dave Miller said...

The Urban rules. I miss it.

Tran's right, just because you have a Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts doesn't mean you're cool. It doesn't mean the city is experiencing growth or economic development is in full force. It just means that the city is becoming just as stale as the rest of America. That's all.

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